next to you

days have gone by, and i’m still inside

but i won’t hang my head in shame, or find someone else i can blame

i’m relaxed but i will not sleep on you

you’re a girl, i’m a guy, oh you love, so do i

exploring the worlds you don’t know, and finding new ways you can grow

i’m enjoying the time that i have, with you

 

     you’re over there, i’m over here

     and it’s not quite as for as it seems

     but it’s farther that tangible dreams

     i can’t wait ’til i wake up, next to you

 

when i think of trust, i smile cause of us

you mystify all that you touch, for most it’s considered too much

if my mind had eyes it would stare, at you

time, pushing time, i am here, you are there

the future’s a safe place to be, to spend all our days being free

i’m crippled until i can stand, next to you

when it’s all, said and done, we can say, we had fun

it’s just a momentous goodbye, believe there’s no reason to cry

a permanent place in my heart, is for you

 

     you’re over there, i’m over here

     and it’s not quite as for as it seems

     but it’s farther that tangible dreams

     i can’t wait ’til i wake up, next to you

We’re pretending right?

The following is an imagination session I had with my 5 year old brother Sam. If we could only live in the mind of 5 years olds we might not be so greedy. We would just imagine whatever we wanted.

 

Sam: excuse me sir is this your first time here?

Alex:here where?

Sam: at the restaurant, wait are we pretending, we’re pretending right?

Alex: yeah, we’re pretending

Sam: okay, i don’t know what we have so i have to ask the service. 

       (sam goes behind a chair and whispers)

Sam: Service what do we have?

       (sam stands up and says to me)

Sam: we have macaroni and cheese and beef and mushrooms

Alex: ooo good i’ll have beef and mushrooms

       (sam goes back behind the chair and whispers to nobody then stands back up)

Sam: and we have shrimp!

Alex: okay I’ll have shrimp and beef and onions

Sam: but we don’t have onions

Alex: you don’t have onions? okay

Sam: wait…let me check with service

       (sam goes back down to service and whispers)

Sam: yeah we do have onions but they are the last ones

Alex: can i have them?

Sam: yeah, and we have salad. do you want salad?

Alex: yeah, that sounds good

       (sam goes to make the salad…he comes back)

Sam: do you want the onions on your salad?

Alex: sure

       (sam goes back to make the salad and brings it to me)

Sam: here you go

Alex: thank you

Sam: Okay the beef will be right up

Shit’s for the birds

So I see this breaking news on Yahoo yesterday. It’s about a man that is helping an owl or hawk (can’t really remember) learn how to fly. 

Now tell me. What the fuck do I care if that stupid fucking thing learns how to fly? My original agitation stemmed from thinking about how much time and money they spent on this animal. I’m guessing it was a lot of both. There are humans on this earth that have to walk five miles to get clean water, there are children that are being bartered into slavery, there are children that are dying for no less then hunger, and we are being so ridiculous as to give a hoot (pun intended) about this bird. With that money, they may have been able to put kids in the projects through after school programs, or add a whole new set of text books to a struggling library. But, no, ‘we gotta get that bird flying!’

I could help that bird. I could help it with one swift and carefully aimed BB. Cost maybe a half a cent, at most, and we could use the rest of the money to feed a starving human. “Human”. Not animal, not a fucking bird that’s not going to affect my life, or anyone elses in the near or distant future. We’re not talking about seeing eye dogs here, we’re talking about a bird.

Think about it.

It’s too often

It’s too often I do not take a look around and appreciate the great simpleness. It’s a sunny, yet, chilly saturday morning. Luckily, I live in a town that allows for beanies and sunglasses to be worn together. Greg and Al are off to Anaheim, and I am about to go meet with a friend about cutting her dance reel. I am relaxed and woke up feeling great, after a day that could have put a bear into premature hibernation. My coffee has been sitting, it’s heat keeps me from tasting my short term energy investment. This writing feels good. I’m not thinking to much, which is a common thing for me as of late. Have an art show tonight, and a friends birthday after. The company will be nothing short of amazing all night. Great people are said to have RSVP’d. 

Off to call the Mom.

Peace

Honesty, Honestly?

     Probably the best method of expression. You’re going to get to the root of the issue at some point whether you like it or not. I guess the uncertainty or second guessing is what stops most from being completely honest right off the bat. A protection agent that is far too common. Protection from what? Defeat, rejection, denial, heartbreak? Big deal, happens everyday and to everyone. The saddest part is that we all know this. This is not a new planet we’re exploring. This is the same earth that we’ve been on for years. But it doesn’t mean every inch of earth has been stepped on. I guess that’s what makes it so difficult. You’ll never know what the sahara looks like at sunrise unless you go there, pretty simple huh? You’ll never know the answer to your question unless you ask. Unlike the sunrise, the person who has the answer won’t be around forever. 

 

I would really benefit from my own advice.

nobody there

  Maybe  its my fault, should have told you, you’re lavishly lovable

  Now i have to live with the thought that i ruined the moment we had

  Or could have,  if we didn’t, i don’t know if we did  will you  

  Tell me, baby please, i’m lost in my thought and my body is stuck in a 

  Troth,  yes a troth now I can finally see, that’s how it’s gonna be

  Fuck, i don’t care, I’m in an electrical chair because of you

  And when the baby screams

there’s nobody there to calm her dreams

  And when the minor falls

there’s nobody there to hear his call

  And when the sky is red

It probably means we all are dead

  And when you ask for me

I can’t guarantee I’ll tell you where I’ll be

  As for me, I’ll be fine, I’ll find her, the one that will speak to me

  Then, we will dance, through the trees , and jump in the river of 

  Tranquility ,and nostalgic ecstasy

  But when she, let’s her nerves, get the best of her, I won’t react

I will walk and find someone else who will journey to the light

   I will find, someone who knows how to talk to me tonight

  And when the baby screams

there’s nobody there to calm her dreams

  And when the minor falls

there’s nobody there to hear his call

  And when the sky is red

It probably means we all are dead

  And when you ask for me

I can’t guarantee I’ll tell you where I’ll be

  But if you still want me

I’ll meet you on an island in the sea

Russel Street Recipe

Living room/Office

Lone Cork Boards

Notes

MG3

3 Macs

Beauty

Perfection

Cargo Shorts

Special Chair

Two Fine singers

Five guitars

Tired Alex

Can o’ beer

This is a recipe that didn’t have to be written…………….. So I had to write about it.

Love and Operation

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! You failed. You’re a bitch. You were not careful. Your tweezers are your words, your expressions, and your composure. You shook. You hit the metal that you knew was there. The metal is saying the wrong thing, it’s your insecurities, your past getting in the way, your future getting in the way, your timidness, your wrong timing, lies, secrets, and the never ending search for greener pastures. The metal is all that is bad. You might only get one chance. What is for sure is that after you fail the first time you have to sit and watch everyone else try to do what you were so unsuccessful in doing. If they succeed, you lose. At least that piece. You can try again, but for that game, the wishbone is theirs. Think. Be smart. Take your time, because the only people that hurry are people that don’t want to succeed themselves, or people that don’t want you to succeed. 

Don’t let the red nose light up mother fuckers.

Peace

NG

Goodbye Tracy

Today I say goodbye to Tracy. She was good to me. Great by most standards, and I know that they say that all good things must come to an end, but I think it’s different with great things. Great things, if given the proper respect are put to rest before an end comes to take it from you. Great things are retired by the beholder. The Tracy house was respectfully retired today with extraction of my remaining belongings. She is empty like a hookers jar of self respect. She is vacant, and she is awaiting a new family. All that remains are some caps that survived the annual wrath of the broom. And rightfully so. When the next people come into the Tracy house, they will think, “Oh, the last people drank huh?”, but what they do not know is that the living room that they call theirs was once home to something much greater, like that of the Sandlot, it was a place where friends, good ones at least, came to let off some steam and went to battle with each other over beers and good stories, while hiding from the world outside.        

I share a bond with that street, that house, that room, that yard, and last, but definitely not least, I share a bond with every person that stepped inside my old house on Tracy St. 

Peace

back in ac

tion. Just got my laptop back from apple. Another unexpected expense. Resistance is trying to strangle me but it doesn’t realize who I am. Resistance, I ask you, throw it all at me, please. I assure you I can handle it. I welcome the challenge. Money means nothing. The train is in full motion, it wil take more than a faulty track to stop it.